What if these family members still want to stay in touch, and even seem supportive because they recognize the issues with the narcissist? What if these friends press upon you their desire to still socialize with you? Do you really have to cut good people out of your life in order to move on? Isn't that throwing the baby out with the bathwater?
These questions don't have black and white answers, and you will need to examine both your specific situation and your current state of mind to figure out what's right for you.
One principle to keep in mind is that, at least in the short term, your number one priority is to escape the influence of your narcissist. That's the whole point of no-contact, after all. You don't cut the narc out of your life to punish him--you do it in the interest of a healthy and happy future for you. So ask yourself, what are your true motivations for wanting to keep the adjunct people in your life? If any of these reasons include any element related to the narc, then that's a warning sign.
For example, perhaps on some level you think staying involved with his best friend will allow you to "keep tabs," monitor how the narc is doing, if he might be wanting to get you back, or has met someone new, is missing you, or is going on without the slightest qualm. Maybe you want to continue to nurture a relationship with his parents so you can prove you are a better person than he is, that they don't want to lose you because you have value to them. Maybe you simply want to cling to these relationships because they feel like they're all you have left of the lost narcissist.
Things like this indicate that your interest in these people is tainted with a continuing interest in your narc, and that's exactly what you don't need. You are working to get to a point where you don't need to prove anything to yourself or to him regarding your worth. You are striving to let go of caring about him, or caring what he thinks of you. You are looking to yourself and those who love you for validation, and making the present and future a safe and happy place for you, without the toxicity which you have managed to survive.
It is possible that your affinity for these other people is actually not related to your narc in any way. You may have a mutual friend who has become a huge supporter and has actually been helping you to cut the ties with your narcissist. Perhaps even his family members are "on your side." The idea that keeping a person such as this in your life is not out of the realm of possibility.
But I still offer one caveat: If staying involved with such a person means staying involved with your narcissist for more than the very short term, even as a topic of conversation, be careful. Your ultimate goal is a time in your life when you can go days, weeks, even months, without giving the narc a thought. You are looking to build up the relationships, interests, hobbies and goals that take you back to your true self, and forward to new and exciting places. If, and only if, this person can move on with you in that way, then go for it!
In these days of social media, no-contact is a huge challenge. But you may know from experience how seeing just one status update or reading one tweet pertaining to your narc's life can ruin your day and set back your progress tremendously. It's important to review the connections you have to the friends and family of your narcissist, and block or de-friend as you need to for your own peace of mind. As the victim of emotional abuse, you absolutely have that right.
In these days of social media, no-contact is a huge challenge. But you may know from experience how seeing just one status update or reading one tweet pertaining to your narc's life can ruin your day and set back your progress tremendously. It's important to review the connections you have to the friends and family of your narcissist, and block or de-friend as you need to for your own peace of mind. As the victim of emotional abuse, you absolutely have that right.
And that goes for social gatherings, texting, phone calls, and all the rest, too. You can do your best to explain if you have to terminate a relationship due to the break-up with your narc...but in the end, you don't have to convince anyone you're doing the right thing. Except, that is, yourself. And trust me, if that relationship is causing your narcissist's presence in your life to linger, you have every reason to let it go.
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