Prince Hans of the Southern Isles appears to be the romantic hero of Disney's "Frozen" when he sweeps Princess Anna off her feet in a single evening. He seems to share all her interests, feel exactly like she does, and they even finish each other's...sandwiches. He's handsome, charming, charismatic, and apparently Anna's dream man.
But in the end the truth comes out: It's all been an elaborate act. In reality Hans is only interested in himself, and he fooled not only Anna but everyone in her kingdom into believing he is a sensitive, beneficent, self-sacrificing leader.
You can make a good case that this Disney character is a narcissist. He certainly feels not the slightest remorse for his cruelties, and is smug and self-satisfied as far as his own morals and behavior. He's the ultimate user, he knows it and is proud of it.
One of the most frustrating things about dealing with a narcissist is that they, like Prince Hans, are brilliant at appearing to be wonderful. Unlike normal people, they do not let their behavior to be a reflection of their true thoughts and feelings. Rather, they gear it always as to be tool, a means to an end. This makes them remarkably successful at getting people on their side, either by impressing them or intimidating them. Their preferred approach with anyone who might, like Anna, be a means to power, is to seem as attractive, good, and wonderful as possible.
So don't be surprised at all if your narcissist is powerful, influential, popular, and considered by all around you to be a great guy. He's put a lot of effort into that while you were busy being genuine, doing and saying what your mind and heart told you to.
If you're trying to break from your narcissist, you can bet he will redouble his efforts to be charming to anyone and everyone that you would want especially to see the truth about him. That includes any shared children he's fighting for, his new girlfriend, his and your relatives, your friends, your shared Facebook/Twitter friends and followers, the members of your church, therapists and social workers, and the judge deciding your children's custody. He will work hard, and he'll be good at it...he's had a lifetime of practice, including a significant part of time when he wooed you. Don't get too angry at those people; it's far more his fault than theirs. They, like most people, don't even know that narcissists exist or how they operate.
Undoubtedly you feel very driven to show the world what an evil person you've been dealing with, proving his guilt, and getting some justice. Those feelings are normal and understandable, and telling your side of the story is important and totally within your rights. But when you find yourself butting heads with people who just don't understand or believe you, sometimes the only person who gets hurt is you. And you've already suffered enough. Don't seek understanding from those people--you will only waste energy and bring yourself more frustration and disappointment, not to mention the erroneous but powerful feeling that you might be crazy.
Instead, go to people who do understand and believe you, most especially other victims of narcissists who totally get it. Again, I recommend the Narcissists group on www.supportgroups.com, where there are plenty of people who will believe every word you say about your narc because they know narcissists.
As far as crusading to convince the world your narc is evil, as Elsa would say: "Let it go." The less you think about that crusade, the better off you'll be. And after all, living well is the best revenge. Focus more on your being happy and less on his being miserable, and you will be far better off.
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